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"The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely."

"In the same way that the internet finished normalizing nerd culture and organized both self-deprecation and self-importance into near genres of their own (what is “humblebrag,” in the doing and in the charge of it, but pathos?), the internet has made such explicit self-representation a central tenet of social media. Selfies are the first and final wall between a vision of one’s self and its actualization online. Even if they’re shitty—and most selfies are shitty, in concept and execution, with their bad lighting and worse ideas—selfies are an abrupt and indisputable realization, if not idealization, of what and how their subjects want to be seen."

"Beyoncé is exactly what we know, and it is more remarkable every time she just goes and does it, as if to always obscure the fact that she had to come up with herself first, before we knew her."

"There’s no point to any of this. It’s just a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know, a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good; the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain; the moments where your laughter becomes a cackle. And I—I sit back and smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt."